SUPPORTING A LOVED ONE THROUGH TRAUMA: ADVICE FOR FRIENDS AND FAMILY

When someone you care about experiences trauma, it can be a difficult and overwhelming experience for both the individual and their loved ones. Trauma can manifest in many ways, including physical and emotional symptoms, and it can have a profound impact on the individual's life and relationships. As a friend or family member, you may naturally want to support and provide understanding to your loved one during this challenging time.

Here are some tips for supporting a loved one through trauma:

1.     Listen without judgment: One of the most important things you can do for a loved one who has experienced trauma is to listen to them without judgment. This means allowing them to share their experiences and feelings without interrupting or trying to fix the situation. Instead, validate their emotions and let them know that you are there for them.

2.     Be patient: Trauma can affect individuals in many different ways, and recovery is not always a linear process. It is important to be patient and understanding with your loved one as they navigate their healing journey. This may involve being supportive and available to them even when they are not ready to talk about their experiences or participate in certain activities.

3.     Educate yourself: It can be helpful to educate yourself about trauma and its effects in order to better understand what your loved one is going through. This can help you to offer more informed support and to avoid unintentionally triggering or retraumatizing your loved one.

4.     Offer practical support: Trauma can make even simple tasks feel overwhelming, so offering practical support can be a great way to help your loved one feel more supported and less overwhelmed. This can include things like cooking meals, running errands, or taking care of household chores.

5.     Have boundaries: as you work to support your loved one pay close attention to your own needs and boundaries. Try not to offer help or support when your own emotional energy levels are tapped. Its important to give support from a place of abundance and not obligation or guilt. Giving support from a place of obligation or guilt especially when we are already maxed out ourselves can lead to resentment and caregiver burnout. Learn more here.

6.     Avoid minimizing their experiences: It can be tempting to try to make your loved one feel better by downplaying the severity of their experiences. However, this can actually be harmful and can make your loved one feel invalidated or unheard. Instead, validate their experiences and let them know that you are there for them, no matter what.

7.     Encourage professional help: While friends and family can be a great source of support, it is important to encourage your loved one to seek professional help as well. This may involve suggesting therapy or other resources that can help them process their trauma in a safe and supportive environment.

8.     Practice self-care: Supporting a loved one through trauma can be emotionally taxing, so it is important to prioritize your own self-care as well. This can include things like seeking out your own support network, practicing mindfulness or meditation, or taking breaks when needed.

9.     Be sensitive to triggers: Trauma can be triggered by many different things, and it is important to be sensitive to your loved one's triggers. We can’t avoid all triggers and with the help of a professional your loved one can reduce their reactivity to triggers and learn to regulate themselves in response to triggers. In the meantime, you can help them by being aware of potential triggers and being prepared to help them navigate them through co-regualtion.

10.   Learn co-regulation skills: Human beings are excellent co-regulators, meaning they can use each other’s calmer emotional energy to regulate through emotional activation. For example, if one individual is feeling anxious, the other individual can use their own calm demeanor to help regulate the anxious individual's emotions. To learn more check out our article on co-regulation.

11.   Be consistent: Consistency can be a powerful way to support your loved one through trauma. This may involve checking in with them regularly, showing up for them when they need you, and being consistent in your words and actions.

12.   Be supportive of their healing journey: Everyone's healing journey is different, and it is important to support your loved one in the way that works best for them. This may involve respecting their boundaries, offering encouragement and validation, or simply being there to listen when they need someone to talk to.

Supporting a loved one through trauma can be a challenging and emotional experience, but it is also one of the most important ways that you can show your love and care for them. If you are looking for a psychotherapist to help support a loved one or are in need of additional support as you help a loved one navigate their own healing journey please contact us here for a free 15-minute consultation to learn about how I can be of service.